Senior Thesis Show: "Life of the Party"

"Life of the Party"

Papier Mâché

2015

Artist Statement:

     40 million adults in the United States are affected by anxiety disorders, making it the most prevalent mental illness. Social anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an intense and unreasonable fear of social situations. Most of the time, the person is aware of the fact that their fear is unreasonable, yet is unable to overcome it.  
     This installation contextualizes social anxiety in the form of deflating balloons. The bright-colored, metallic balloons, commonly seen at parties or social events, are deflating to symbolize how draining these situations can be for people who suffer from social anxiety disorder.  When a person is enveloped in stress, it can be difficult for them to enjoy the fun and exciting setting that they are in.  Some balloons are decorated with phrases commonly said to these people by friends or family members who do not understand the intense and unavoidable distorted thoughts of this disorder.  This piece was created to bring awareness to the seriousness of this disorder that is commonly overlooked and misunderstood by people who are not affected.  

       Social anxiety affects so many people around the world, including myself. I started having panic attacks when I was in middle school and nobody understood what was going on with me. When I would be out having fun with my friends and suddenly flush, get nauseous, gag, and feel tingly all over, I had no idea what was wrong with me and why I couldn't function like a proper human. This wasn't happening to any of my friends; I felt like something was wrong with me. My family, friends, and teachers would always accuse me of faking sick because of all the stomach aches I'd get and tell me that I was being dramatic as I would have to leave every restaurant to dry heave in the parking lot. That's what it always was: "dramatic." So I began to internalize this feeling and belief that I'm just dramatic and that panic attacks were just dramatic. 

       I didn't find out the definition of what a panic attack was until my junior year of college, after having literally hundreds of them. When I found out that these terrible symptoms could be linked with anxiety, I decided to seek treatment. I tried my hardest, using a cognitive-behavioral therapy workbook and moving from prescription to prescription to find the right fit for me. It's been a long journey; however, I'm still not nearly over it. 

       For my senior year thesis art installation, I wanted to work with something that affected so many people and provide some psycho-education for others who may have felt alone, as I did for so many years. As aforementioned in the artist statement, I decorated brightly-colored, deflating balloons with things that friends and family members have said to me too many times: "Live a little!" "C'mon." "Don't be boring." and my all-time least favorite of them all, "You'll be fine." These things are so easy to say when going to restaurants and parties is not a difficult thing for you. It's easy to assume someone will be fine grabbing a quick slice of pizza at CPK when you've never had a panic attack because, when you're experiencing those extremely debilitating symptoms, you feel anything but fine.  

       Displaying this installation for my school was a very vulnerable, yet powerful, experience for me. I decided, however, that it was time to speak up about anxiety; there's nothing to hide about it. At the gallery opening, the response was incredible. I had people coming up to me left and right, thanking me for giving a voice to their issue and making them feel understood. I even had a complete stranger approach me in tears, telling me that she had always felt so misunderstood but my piece gave meaning to exactly what she is always feeling. These real emotional connections are what art is meant to be about. It's about giving an image to something that is not so easily explained. Some friends don't understand anxiety, but everyone understands that a balloon deflates. Making the connection between the two makes the symptoms more tangible and just a little bit more accessible to people who have friends and family who suffer from this horrific disorder. 

       To continue my work with promoting mental health awareness and betterment, I have enrolled in an art therapy graduate program. I am working towards my Master's degree in Marital and Family Therapy with a specialization in Art Therapy. Art is an incredibly useful tool in therapy sessions as it really aids in the process. Sometimes it's hard to talk about certain things but they are often revealed, unconsciously, through art. With one semester down, I've learned so many incredible tactics for how to use art in a therapy session. I can't wait to begin to see clients in the new year and hopefully help encourage them to improve the quality of their lives.

I discuss the process more in my post from June 8, check it out to learn more!