At the ripe age of 22, I finally took my birthright trip to Las Vegas - a rite of passage for young people everywhere. Conveniently, I only live a few hours drive away and had my entire trip planned for me by someone else so all I had to do was pay $160 and pack my bags. We hopped in the car and headed from LA to LV and 4 hours of a lot of desert later, we arrived on the strip, not nearly as ready to party as we were to nap. HOWEVER, it was time to party so we suited up in our Monday best and hit the strip.
We started the evening at PBR where the bow came off and I began to dance in cages. "When in Vegas," they say... "Tits out for Alfa Lloyd," as Jordan would say. The women of Delta Zeta were ready to fuckin go. After some drinks and a plate of potato skins, we were on the way to get our groove on.
We were greeted by the shiny, fancy, expensive looking lobby of The Cosmopolitan. I already knew I was interested. This was what really sealed the deal for me after Steph described Vegas as "Disneyland for adults." Wasn't sure that Vegas was going to be for me but, let me frickin tell you, VIP treatment in any situation is DEFINITELY for me. Shoutout to JusCollege - you rock my world for this hook up.
All 38 sorority girls walked into Marquee in style to be greeted by several women dancing for us in lingerie, ready to pour us drinks and be slaves to us for all hours of the night. As I am allergic to fun, however, I was pretty stoked about the unlimited juice that was provided by these sexy women. Jordan, not being allergic to fun, ran into the club declaring that she was ready to fight someone if we did not have more than 3 bottles. Jordan, later, (although we had unlimited bottles) found joy in pretending she was parts of other parties and drinking their alcohol. This is why she is bae.
Amidst the dance floor, we were surrounded by some kind of old people corporate party. It was like fucking Brian's birthday or something so they all decided to rage. Raging the hardest of them all was an 80 year old Asian woman in a turtle neck. She was getting down with her bad, old self on the dance floor. It was incredible. What was even more incredible was when Jordan spotted her, she went up and danced with her! I tried to capture the moment but grandma caught on and covered herself. Sad moment.
The night was a lot of fun with a lot of friends. I got my dance on and enjoyed the confinement of our private table where creepy men could barely even look at me. That is something that I'm interested in - avoiding human interaction. After Jordan began to get violent with her light up stick and beating some random woman to get the fuck out of our private table, we decided it was best to leave. Also because we were hungry. (Mostly because we were hungry). On our walk back to the hotel we were greeted by a lot of interesting people. One guy approached us and said "hey, you ladies like to party?" I bluntly responded, "no. we hate parties." Jordan, even more bluntly, responded, "NO. WE ARE MORMONS. WE'RE HERE WITH OUR CHURCH. HOW DARE YOU?!" It was a truly magical moment.
We got back to the Paris Hotel and decided to gamble all of our money away on the slots because Jordan, REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT SHE GREW UP IN LAS VEGAS, had never gambled before. Which, as an excessive gambler, I found extremely offensive. I came out with a good ol' 7 cents and decided to call it a night. We grabbed some snacks and headed to the room. The room in which Jordan and I were sharing a bed. A bed in which she told me earlier in the night that "if she rolled over and found a bowl of pasta under her pillow, she was gunna be pissed." A BED IN WHICH SHE PROCEEDED TO MAKE IT CONFETTI COOL RANCH DORITOS IN! Ahh, life is an amazing thing, my friends. And Vegas is an amazing place. Night one was a success.
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